Sex addicts often share that they often experience loneliness. What then happens is that they feel an urgent desire to get rid of this vague bad feeling. Porn, masturbation, prostitutes, massage parlors, voyeuring, any of these will do the trick. But then after the short euphoria, guilt and deadness set in. And they are back to feeling lonely.
Tony Ramynke (a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist in Newport Beach, CA) and I talk about this link between sex addiction and loneliness in the latest episode of SA speakeasy. Come take a listen if you are interested.
Have you had an abortion? Whether you had an abortion long ago, or just recently, the shame and guilt can feel like it will never go away. Some women (and men) tell themselves they will take this secret to the grave.
I interviewed one woman who was willing to share her abortion story. She found healing, love and forgiveness, and I hope that her story will lead you to experience the same.
As many of you know, I enjoy pre-engagement counseling quite a bit. If you’re not familiar with the term pre-engagement counseling (I’ll just refer to it as PEC for short), you can read more about it here. I enjoy PEC because we get to talk about topics that married people wish they would have talked over before marrying. So I’m going to start a series of short articles that highlight the key things to ask before popping the question.
I hope these will be of value to you, whether you are dating, or you’re a pastor conducting pre-marital counseling, or even if you are married and want to have more clarity about a topic.
Continue reading Things to Ask Before Popping the Question (Part 1: Communication)
It’s the beginning of Fall, which means the start of my church’s small group is right around the corner. Thinking about my small group brings a variety of wonderful emotions up to the surface: laughter, support, challenge, and most of all, safety. Why do I emphasize safety? Because my small group’s safety stands in stark contrast to the worst small group experience of my life, circa 2013. So what happened?
Continue reading The Worst Small Group Experience of My Life
“You always do that!”
“You ALWAYS make jokes when I’m trying to be serious!”
“No I don’t!”
“Yes you do! You NEVER take me seriously, can you be serious for just once in your life?!”
Continue reading Words that Start Fights: Always and Never
“No, no, no ….” I groaned, as I watched a Korean drama on TV the other night. A man in his early 30’s with a modernized bowl-cut rubbed his palms together, begging his mother to let him date the love of his life. His love was a lady in her mid 20’s. Pretty, kind, intelligent, and predictably, from a poor family. The man’s mother not only refused her son’s request, but also threatened to inflict damage upon the woman’s family if her son did not break up. Continue reading A Better Way to Honor Your Father and Mother
“What makes you think your father was never proud of you?” I asked a millennial man in my counseling office years ago. He was leaning over, rubbing his temples with his palms. When he finally looked up at me, eyes glistening with tears, he gave a simple answer: “Because he never told me so.” Continue reading 3 Ways to Develop Your Child’s Self-Esteem
Chances are that you or someone that you love is in a dating relationship and the idea of marriage is getting stronger. If this is the case, then I would like to present to you the idea of Pre-Engagement Counseling. Let me start with a brief illustration. Continue reading Why Pre-Engagement Counseling is Better than Pre-Marital Counseling
I created this blog to provide helpful takeaways for Christians who want to glorify God through their life. Specifically, through relational best practices.
In my years of psychological education and operating a private practice, I have learned (and am still learning!) what promotes emotional and relational health. I would love to pass these onto you.
I believe psychology can contribute so much to the Christian life. I liken psychology’s contributions to the contributions of financial wisdom and medical knowledge. The findings may or may not come from Christian researchers, but the results help Christians become better money stewards and caretakers of their body.
Psychology in no way saves souls, but it does help people become better spouses, parents, friends, conflict resolvers, and connectors. What a way to glorify God!
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