“I just need to pray more”
This may sound like the right, spiritual thing to say, but praying more rarely takes sex addiction away. In many cases, simply praying more leads to increased resentment towards God and increased shame in oneself.
Heather Seguin of Clear Choice Counseling in Upland, CA joins me in discussing what Christian sex addicts need to know about the road to recovery. It’s an interview that we hope you will find helpful. Click here to listen to Episode 7 of SA speakeasy!
Wait, did I read that right? 10 types?
Yes, Dr. Patrick Carnes has identified 10 types of sex addiction. This is a helpful thing! The more we know about sex addiction, the greater the chance we can treat it and get recovery.
If you are curious about what type of sex addiction you or someone you know has, take a listen to Episode 6 of my podcast “SA speakeasy”
Sex addiction is often a result of many years of trying to deal with emotional and relational pain. Andy Park and I discuss the effective pain treatment called EMDR when working with sex addicts.
Andy is a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, practicing in Southern California. Please click here to listen!
Sex addicts often share that they often experience loneliness. What then happens is that they feel an urgent desire to get rid of this vague bad feeling. Porn, masturbation, prostitutes, massage parlors, voyeuring, any of these will do the trick. But then after the short euphoria, guilt and deadness set in. And they are back to feeling lonely.
Tony Ramynke (a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist in Newport Beach, CA) and I talk about this link between sex addiction and loneliness in the latest episode of SA speakeasy. Come take a listen if you are interested.
Have you had an abortion? Whether you had an abortion long ago, or just recently, the shame and guilt can feel like it will never go away. Some women (and men) tell themselves they will take this secret to the grave.
I interviewed one woman who was willing to share her abortion story. She found healing, love and forgiveness, and I hope that her story will lead you to experience the same.
As many of you know, I enjoy pre-engagement counseling quite a bit. If you’re not familiar with the term pre-engagement counseling (I’ll just refer to it as PEC for short), you can read more about it here. I enjoy PEC because we get to talk about topics that married people wish they would have talked over before marrying. So I’m going to start a series of short articles that highlight the key things to ask before popping the question.
I hope these will be of value to you, whether you are dating, or you’re a pastor conducting pre-marital counseling, or even if you are married and want to have more clarity about a topic.
Continue reading Things to Ask Before Popping the Question (Part 1: Communication)
It’s the beginning of Fall, which means the start of my church’s small group is right around the corner. Thinking about my small group brings a variety of wonderful emotions up to the surface: laughter, support, challenge, and most of all, safety. Why do I emphasize safety? Because my small group’s safety stands in stark contrast to the worst small group experience of my life, circa 2013. So what happened?
Continue reading The Worst Small Group Experience of My Life
“You always do that!”
“You ALWAYS make jokes when I’m trying to be serious!”
“No I don’t!”
“Yes you do! You NEVER take me seriously, can you be serious for just once in your life?!”
Continue reading Words that Start Fights: Always and Never
“No, no, no ….” I groaned, as I watched a Korean drama on TV the other night. A man in his early 30’s with a modernized bowl-cut rubbed his palms together, begging his mother to let him date the love of his life. His love was a lady in her mid 20’s. Pretty, kind, intelligent, and predictably, from a poor family. The man’s mother not only refused her son’s request, but also threatened to inflict damage upon the woman’s family if her son did not break up. Continue reading A Better Way to Honor Your Father and Mother
“What makes you think your father was never proud of you?” I asked a millennial man in my counseling office years ago. He was leaning over, rubbing his temples with his palms. When he finally looked up at me, eyes glistening with tears, he gave a simple answer: “Because he never told me so.” Continue reading 3 Ways to Develop Your Child’s Self-Esteem