Chris Williams (Licensed Marriage/Family Therapist & Co-Host of New Life Live) rejoins me to discuss how sex addiction is a form of emotional deafness.
Some of the topics we cover:
- Why ignoring our feelings is a mistake.
- How to experience love at a deeper level.
- Why many men struggle with anger management and empathy.
- What happens when we squash our children’s emotions.
- Porn during bad times, porn during good times.
- Why it’s hard to delight in simple pleasures and blessings.
Contact Chris at www.renovaricounseling.com
Keaton Kleiner (an LMHP in Omaha, Nebraska) and I discuss the difference between coping with life’s struggles in what he coins a “lazy versus intentional” way. We find that it’s important to know the difference because sex addicts can help themselves recover by learning intentional ways to cope with hardship.
Some of the topics we discuss:
- Why alcohol and pornography are some of the lazy skills
- Why even certain ways of “using God” can be lazy!
- Why masturbating leads to feelings of despair
- Why we end up substituting one addiction for another addiction
- How do we intentionally cope with life?
- One interesting intervention: Go ahead and view porn, but on one condition…
- How do people even get started being intentional when they have never learned how?
- The importance, and even the necessity, of group therapy
In Episode 10 of SA speakeasy, Grace Erickson and I discuss the significance of spirituality when treating sex addiction. Grace is currently one of the few, if not only, Catholic sex addiction therapists in the Seattle area. Some of the issues we talk about in this episode:
Can God love me even if I repeat sexual sins?
The high number of men who lack meaningful friendships.
The deep guilt and shame of sex addicts.
The amazing strengths of our clients.
The real hope that sex addicts have to become sexually healthy.
In Episode 9 of SA speakeasy, Bill Schuilenberg and I discuss the blueprint of sex addiction recovery. We make no bones about the length of the process and what it requires. We also revel in the true hope it offers for men and women who desperately want to overcome their sex addiction.
Some of the questions we discuss are:
Is sex addiction common?
What happens during the assessment portion of sex addiction therapy?
Why is the relationship between the therapist and the client so important?
What is one of the most difficult parts of sex addiction treatment?
How effective is group therapy?
How long does it take to overcome sex addiction?
Bill practices in Kelowna, British Columbia and his website is: https://www.wacs.ca
A colleague brought this video to my attention, and I’m so thankful! This video concisely explains what it takes to earn your loved one’s trust again. It has to do with a consistent series of what he calls “micro-trusts.” After watching this short video, if you’d like to get to work on earning your loved one’s trust again, I’d love to help. But first, please watch!
How ‘Micro-Trusts’ Can Help Re-establish Trust after Infidelity from Affair Recovery on Vimeo.
This is such an important question, with many significant implications. Sometimes we want to tell our loved one to relieve our conscience. Sometimes we feel forced to tell. Other times we panic and we will say whatever to protect ourselves, or even our partner. Whatever the reason, there are effective ways to tell our partner, and absolutely ineffective ways to tell our partner. It’s crucial to know the difference!
In Episode 8, I interview Matt Kreiner from Bull City Psychotherapy in Durham, North Carolina. We discuss the ever important concept of the Formal Disclosure. We cover topics and questions such as: Dangers of staggered disclosure (telling information in separate chunks over time) If I disclose everything, won’t my partner leave me? What if I lose custody of the kids? What are the benefits in telling the truth? When should I tell my significant other? What does a formal disclosure meeting look like?
It’s our hope that this episode will give you valuable things to consider, that will eventually lead to you making the wisest choice possible. You can learn more about Matt’s work at www.bullcitypsychotherapy.com, or reach him at email@example.com
“I just need to pray more”
This may sound like the right, spiritual thing to say, but praying more rarely takes sex addiction away. In many cases, simply praying more leads to increased resentment towards God and increased shame in oneself.
Heather Seguin of Clear Choice Counseling in Upland, CA joins me in discussing what Christian sex addicts need to know about the road to recovery. It’s an interview that we hope you will find helpful. Click here to listen to Episode 7 of SA speakeasy!
Wait, did I read that right? 10 types?
Yes, Dr. Patrick Carnes has identified 10 types of sex addiction. This is a helpful thing! The more we know about sex addiction, the greater the chance we can treat it and get recovery.
If you are curious about what type of sex addiction you or someone you know has, take a listen to Episode 6 of my podcast “SA speakeasy”
Sex addiction is often a result of many years of trying to deal with emotional and relational pain. Andy Park and I discuss the effective pain treatment called EMDR when working with sex addicts.
Andy is a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, practicing in Southern California. Please click here to listen!
Sex addicts often share that they often experience loneliness. What then happens is that they feel an urgent desire to get rid of this vague bad feeling. Porn, masturbation, prostitutes, massage parlors, voyeuring, any of these will do the trick. But then after the short euphoria, guilt and deadness set in. And they are back to feeling lonely.
Tony Ramynke (a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist in Newport Beach, CA) and I talk about this link between sex addiction and loneliness in the latest episode of SA speakeasy. Come take a listen if you are interested.