Surrogate Spouse, Surrogate Savior (Part 2)

The newest episode of The Same Boat is dedicated to my dad, the 80 year old fountain of youth 💪 Thank you for staying fit and relieving me of any burden of retiring you early.  Hatty Lee rejoins me to continue our discussion about parentified children. In this episode we cover topics such as: *The importance of … Read more Surrogate Spouse, Surrogate Savior (Part 2)

Surrogate Spouse, Surrogate Savior, Part 1

“You are not equipped to give your parents the love and care they needed and did not get from their own caregivers and partner,” says Hatty J. Lee, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Many of us have felt tremendous pressure to listen to our parents’ marital problems, to protect them from loneliness or worthless feelings, … Read more Surrogate Spouse, Surrogate Savior, Part 1

Sex Addiction is an Intimacy Disorder

Chris Williams and I discuss the essential yet often frightening topic of intimacy in the latest episode of SA speakeasy. Some of the questions we cover: What are the pros and cons of allowing someone to know all of me? Would you rather be admired, or loved? What effect does social media have on intimacy? … Read more Sex Addiction is an Intimacy Disorder

How much does sex addiction treatment cost?

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Tony Ramynke rejoins me to discuss the cost of sex addiction treatment. More importantly, we discuss the potential cost of NOT getting treatment. We also talk about the common occurrence of multiple factors underlying a sex addiction that need to be assessed and treated. Some of the questions we address … Read more How much does sex addiction treatment cost?

Sex addiction is a form of emotional deafness

Chris Williams (Licensed Marriage/Family Therapist & Co-Host of New Life Live) rejoins me to discuss how sex addiction is a form of emotional deafness.  Some of the topics we cover: Why ignoring our feelings is a mistake. How to experience love at a deeper level. Why many men struggle with anger management and empathy. What … Read more Sex addiction is a form of emotional deafness

Coping with life intentionally

Keaton Kleiner (an LMHP in Omaha, Nebraska) and I discuss the difference between coping with life’s struggles in what he coins a “lazy versus intentional” way. We find that it’s important to know the difference because sex addicts can help themselves recover by learning intentional ways to cope with hardship.  Some of the topics we … Read more Coping with life intentionally

God, sex addiction, and sexual health

In Episode 10 of SA speakeasy, Grace Erickson and I discuss the significance of spirituality when treating sex addiction. Grace is currently one of the few, if not only, Catholic sex addiction therapists in the Seattle area. Some of the issues we talk about in this episode:  Can God love me even if I repeat … Read more God, sex addiction, and sexual health

What does the road to sex addiction recovery look like?

In Episode 9 of SA speakeasy, Bill Schuilenberg and I discuss the blueprint of sex addiction recovery. We make no bones about the length of the process and what it requires. We also revel in the true hope it offers for men and women who desperately want to overcome their sex addiction. Some of the … Read more What does the road to sex addiction recovery look like?

How do I restore trust with the person I betrayed?

A colleague brought this video to my attention, and I’m so thankful! This video concisely explains what it takes to earn your loved one’s trust again. It has to do with a consistent series of what he calls “micro-trusts.” After watching this short video, if you’d like to get to work on earning your loved … Read more How do I restore trust with the person I betrayed?

When and how should I tell my partner about my affair and/or sex addiction?

This is such an important question, with many significant implications. Sometimes we want to tell our loved one to relieve our conscience. Sometimes we feel forced to tell. Other times we panic and we will say whatever to protect ourselves, or even our partner. Whatever the reason, there are effective ways to tell our partner, … Read more When and how should I tell my partner about my affair and/or sex addiction?