All posts by Roy Kim LMFT

Most Sex Addicts Believe These 4 Things

Whether they realize it or not, at the core of most sex addicts are 4 fundamental beliefs:

  • I am a bad person, unworthy of love
  • No one will accept me if they really knew me
  • I cannot count on others to meet my needs
  • My most important need is sex

Keaton Kleiner and I discuss these 4 beliefs and how these beliefs shape the course of a sex addict’s life in the latest episode of SA speakeasy.  For more about Keaton’s work in Omaha, Nebraska, go to:

You can find the podcast episode here

Getting Clarity about Sex Offenders

Do you know the difference between a sex addict and a sex offender? Sometimes they are one and the same. Other times they are not. My guest on this episode is Charla Thorstad, a sex offender specialist, and she will help us get clarity about the very important topic of sex offense. If you’d like to listen to our conversation, please click here!

*Note: The website will phase out and its contents will be subsumed under

What if I’m not an addict per se?

Some people have full blown porn and sex addictions. Without proper treatment, they will likely live a life laden with shame and destruction. But what about the other people who don’t quite qualify for an addiction? What if their behaviors are “merely problematic?”

I discuss this issue with Heather Seguin of Clear Choice Counseling, who specializes in sex addiction treatment, as well as helping the partners of sex addicts.  If you’d like to listen to the conversation, click here!

Key talking points:

  • Do people need treatment if they “only” have problematic behavior? If so, what does that treatment look like?
  • The difficulty of getting out of isolation if we never learned social skills
  • The importance of finding a specialist in therapy is similar to finding a specialist in the medical field. 

[Editor’s note: Heather’s office is now in Upland, CA]

How to Get Referrals (Part 4: Psychology Today)

During the first 4 years of being in private practice, I think I had 4-5 clients who originally contacted me via Psychology Today (PT). That averages out to about 1 client per year. At a monthly membership fee of around $30, I still came out on top financially. But I did debate whether I should just cancel membership

Continue reading How to Get Referrals (Part 4: Psychology Today)

How to get referrals (Part 1: Pastors)

For this post, I tried thinking about how I’ve been getting referrals since starting my private practice in 2014. This thought exercise has inspired me to keep better track of my referral sources via spreadsheet. But for now, I have to rely on my best guesses from memory. I have some rough percentages to share with you:

Continue reading How to get referrals (Part 1: Pastors)