Surrogate Spouse, Surrogate Savior (Part 2)

The newest episode of The Same Boat is dedicated to my dad, the 80 year old fountain of youth đź’Ş Thank you for staying fit and relieving me of any burden of retiring you early.  Hatty Lee rejoins me to continue our discussion about parentified children. In this episode we cover topics such as: *The importance of … Read more Surrogate Spouse, Surrogate Savior (Part 2)

Surrogate Spouse, Surrogate Savior, Part 1

“You are not equipped to give your parents the love and care they needed and did not get from their own caregivers and partner,” says Hatty J. Lee, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Many of us have felt tremendous pressure to listen to our parents’ marital problems, to protect them from loneliness or worthless feelings, … Read more Surrogate Spouse, Surrogate Savior, Part 1

The Dating Advice No One Talks About

Tiger Woods. Amber Smith. Kanye. Bill Cosby. Lindsay Lohan. Seungri. Lamar Odom. Their sex addictions have made huge headlines and/or ruined lives. Chances are, you have someone in your circle as well who has a sex addiction. Various polls have shown that roughly 25% of females in the church self-report compulsive sexual behavior, and men … Read more The Dating Advice No One Talks About

Things to Ask Before Popping the Question (Part 1: Communication)

As many of you know, I enjoy pre-engagement counseling quite a bit. If you’re not familiar with the term pre-engagement counseling (I’ll just refer to it as PEC for short), you can read more about it here. I enjoy PEC because we get to talk about topics that married people wish they would have talked over before marrying. So I’m going to start a series of short articles that highlight the key things to ask before popping the question.

I hope these will be of value to you, whether you are dating, or you’re a pastor conducting pre-marital counseling, or even if you are married and want to have more clarity about a topic.

Read moreThings to Ask Before Popping the Question (Part 1: Communication)

The Worst Small Group Experience of My Life

 

It’s the beginning of Fall, which means the start of my church’s small group is right around the corner. Thinking about my small group brings a variety of wonderful emotions up to the surface: laughter, support, challenge, and most of all, safety. Why do I emphasize safety? Because my small group’s safety stands in stark contrast to the worst small group experience of my life, circa 2013. So what happened?

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A Better Way to Honor Your Father and Mother

“No, no, no ….” I groaned, as I watched a Korean drama on TV the other night. A man in his early 30’s with a modernized bowl-cut rubbed his palms together, begging his mother to let him date the love of his life. His love was a lady in her mid 20’s. Pretty, kind, intelligent, and predictably, from a poor family. The man’s mother not only refused her son’s request, but also threatened to inflict damage upon the woman’s family if her son did not break up.

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3 Ways to Develop Your Child’s Self-Esteem

“What makes you think your father was never proud of you?” I asked a millennial man in my counseling office years ago. He was leaning over, rubbing his temples with his palms. When he finally looked up at me, eyes glistening with tears, he gave a simple answer: “Because he never told me so.”

Read more3 Ways to Develop Your Child’s Self-Esteem