Category Archives: Relationship

6 Ways to Avoid Regrets on Your Deathbed

Bronnie Ware, a palliative nurse, wrote a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. This post is an adaptation of her observations, with a bonus idea for Christians. Here are 6 ways to avoid regrets on your deathbed:

Work towards YOUR dreams, not the dreams placed on you by your parents.

When you die, will you kick yourself for doing the career you hated, or marrying the person who wasn’t your type, all because it was your parents’ wishes? 

Choose quality time over overtime.

Even if your longer work hours produced a larger home or fancier vacations, will your family thank God you were absent more often than not? 

Let people know the true you, starting with your true emotions and opinions.

We all wear masks in life, whether it’s to keep up an image or to protect from pain. On a deathbed, however, people who have lived masked lives die incredibly lonely and misunderstood. 

Deepen bonds with friends, and if you don’t have friends, make some.

How meaningful and fulfilling it will be when you look around you and see your ride or die friends. These types of friendships don’t form passively. We carve out time and energy to make lasting friendships.

Remove obstacles to joy.

Talk to a therapist to discover what these obstacles might be. If it’s years of resentment, learn steps to forgive. If it’s overwhelmingness, learn to say goodbye to lesser priorities. If it’s chemical imbalance, find a trusted psychiatrist. Life is way too short to live with a negative lens.

Be assured of your salvation.

Do you know where you’re going after you die? Seek answers with your pastor or a spiritual mentor you trust. Assurance of salvation will not only give you great peace when you die, but for each living day as well!

Blessed are the Peacemakers

I published a new episode of The Same Boat! In Episode 19, I interview Cheryl Kang Prout and Vivianne Kelly of Cordial Family Lawyers, LLP, who provide an intimate glimpse into the world of divorce mediation. Some of the questions we discuss:

  • Are all family lawyers the same?
  • How does divorce affect kids?
  • How is your conscience affected as a family law attorney?
  • Is there a way to make divorce less painful or harmful?
  • How can mediators be ministers?

I was blown away by how much I learned from my guests, and I hope you will be illuminated as well. Please share this episode with anyone you know who is considering divorce. And as always, I truly appreciate your reviews on whichever platform you listen to this podcast!

Here’s the link to the episode

Things to Ask Before Popping the Question (Part 1: Communication)

As many of you know, I enjoy pre-engagement counseling quite a bit. If you’re not familiar with the term pre-engagement counseling (I’ll just refer to it as PEC for short), you can read more about it here. I enjoy PEC because we get to talk about topics that married people wish they would have talked over before marrying. So I’m going to start a series of short articles that highlight the key things to ask before popping the question.

I hope these will be of value to you, whether you are dating, or you’re a pastor conducting pre-marital counseling, or even if you are married and want to have more clarity about a topic.

Continue reading Things to Ask Before Popping the Question (Part 1: Communication)

The Worst Small Group Experience of My Life

 

It’s the beginning of Fall, which means the start of my church’s small group is right around the corner. Thinking about my small group brings a variety of wonderful emotions up to the surface: laughter, support, challenge, and most of all, safety. Why do I emphasize safety? Because my small group’s safety stands in stark contrast to the worst small group experience of my life, circa 2013. So what happened?

Continue reading The Worst Small Group Experience of My Life

A Better Way to Honor Your Father and Mother

“No, no, no ….” I groaned, as I watched a Korean drama on TV the other night. A man in his early 30’s with a modernized bowl-cut rubbed his palms together, begging his mother to let him date the love of his life. His love was a lady in her mid 20’s. Pretty, kind, intelligent, and predictably, from a poor family. The man’s mother not only refused her son’s request, but also threatened to inflict damage upon the woman’s family if her son did not break up. Continue reading A Better Way to Honor Your Father and Mother